After 25 years of living in a liberal lifestyle and having no interest in the bible, what the Bible proclaimed, or in God at all. There came a time in my life when the Holy Spirit began to open my eyes to the truth of who God was and this led me to seek to know Him. Although I sensed there was a God, I could not understand how someone could know who God was or what He wanted from me.
It was not until I began to hear God's word through the
radio, as I drove my car, did I realize my need for Jesus who died for my sins. Because only He lived a perfect and holy life, which I could never live, but He loved me enough to be willing to die upon a wooden cross for the sins I had committed. It was
only after I understood and received God's unmerited favor toward me, did I give my heart and life to the God that loved me and was willing
to save me from myself.
After the Holy Spirit led my wife and I to attend at Calvary Chapel Downey, Jesus put strong believers around us to disciple us and prepare us for the ministry He would call us too.
After eight years of growing in our faith, God led us to plant a Calvary Chapel in
during the four
and half years we ministered there. Yet, at
the same time, two other Calvary Chapels in the
surrounding area grew quickly.
After much agonizing, prayer and meditation I
chose to
close the fellowship to allow those who were attending with
us, to join
stronger and larger fellowships. Although I
believe I had the right intentions to do
what I thought was
best for them, looking back, I now see that it was one of
the worst choices I have made, for one reason only.
Although I
thought I made the best choice for those who
attended our fellowship, God never clearly told me to
close the doors. This would become a choice that I would
always deeply regret. It was at this time, part of me died.
For the next ten years I attended Chapel Lake Elsinore, where God used me and blessed me while I served there, even though I concluded that I would never pastor a church again, however, I never lost the deep desire to pastor a church again.
It was during the time I served there, I realized that God had not rejected my calling to be a pastor, even if I had made the wrong choice to close the doors of the church.
It was only after I had been here for a few months, did I learn from the surrounding Calvary Chapel pastors, that Coeur d' Alene had the
reputation of being a "graveyard for pastors" because of the many Calvary Chapels which had
not fallen or closed over the last twenty years.
Although the work has been challenging and slow, this is where God has placed me to remain until He returns. What I have realized is quite simple, what better place for me to be placed, a city, which is known to be the graveyard for pastors, because many years earlier, a part of me died when I closed the fellowship that God given to me. So I know this is where God has placed me, after all you can't kill a dead man.